I haven’t written a post for over a year. Why? I suppose it was a combination of things really; I lost my nerve, I didn’t necessarily want to spread my frustration and general misanthropy with the world and to be honest I was a bit lost. But now I am found. Or at least I’ve got plans.
Last night I slept on my own couch. I hadn’t been chucked out of my own fictional marital bed but I have moved out of my bedroom and into my sitting room. It feels very odd.The reason behind this upheaval is that I am letting my bedroom in order to start saving more money before I head to the USA.
I have decided to put my money, quite literally, where my mouth is and go to the United States of America to try my hand at being an international actress. I’ve (Skype) auditioned for and enrolled into two courses. One in NYC and one LA. In total I will be in the USA for two months and I’ll level with you, I’m scared!
I’ve been talking about wanting to study and potentially work in America since before I went to drama school in the UK so I though it was about time I shut-up about it and gave it a shot. Things in the UK have been progressing fruitfully but slowly professionally but personally…well let’s just say a few thousand miles distance wouldn’t do me any harm!
So for myriad reasons my professional development & exploration trip to the USA is almost essential at this time. If not just so my friends don’t have to hear me whining on about wanting to do it!
But waking up in my lounge this morning I found myself feeling scared. The reality of being on my own for two months dawned. The last time I was without a close-by support network was when i did my gap-year travelling in 2000! All sorts of banal worries started to attack me: what will I eat for breakfast? how will I drive on the ‘wrong-side’ of the road? Should I take shampoo with me or buy it when I arrive? Seriously, the mind will put all sorts of idiotic worries into one’s head to stop you living outside of your comfort zone. And that is definitely where I am both literally and metaphorically (it’s a nice couch but there is a reason IKEA distinguish between beds and sofas in their catalogue…).
So I’m going to face my fear head on and part of today will involve my boxing up some of my belongings. I can be honest that I am scared but as I woke up this morning and realised where I was I was so excited that soon I will be waking up in another continent.